One of the most common stumbling blocks during any effort to eat more healthfully is some sort of event. I often hear people tell me “I was doing so well until…” Maybe it is some specific event like a wedding, or it’s the holiday season in general, or it’s a vacation. Some event takes place and things get off track.
Food Is How We Connect With People
You don’t often hear of someone getting together with friends or family for a special occasion and saying “Hey! Let’s all fast!” Sharing a meal renews connections, strengthens bonds and fosters community. We all need that.
People don’t need another lecture about breaking the food habit or pep talks about building their willpower. They need a system and a plan for what to do that is powerful enough to help them accomplish their goals but flexible enough to let them enjoy important life experiences without feeling guilty about it.
Give Yourself Permission To Eat And Enjoy
Fasting is a discipline for sure. However, one does not have to be so rigid in an approach that they can’t enjoy key social times with friends and family. I was once talking to a gentleman who was struggling with weight who had not made any progress. Yet, he was telling me how well he had been doing with his diet. “I didn’t even eat a piece of cake at my daughters wedding.” I could tell he was really torn up about it. It was a key social event and he felt like he didn’t fully experience it. Things like that can lead to resentment and that can have long term impacts.
I find the most effective way to have success with a fasting regimen is to get in a routine. I often have people use a level 1 plan as a sort of base and add in higher levels if needed/desired. But I also say this is mainly for the average boring day. It’s not for the special event. We want to “have our cake and eat it too.” Meaning we get the benefits from a fasting practice in our life but we also enjoy our social experiences.
Make a plan
The best way to do this is to plan for it. Most key food experiences are known in advance. There needs to be a thoughtful approach that is mapped out ahead of time. This is easiest to do for one day sort of events so we will start with that.
Thankfully a plan for a one day food event does not have to be complicated. In fact, it does not have to be about that day at all. The plan can simply be about getting back to your routine the next day. That might be the most important focus.
People really get hung up on perfection. But we don’t need perfection. In the grand scheme of things one day really is not a big deal regarding weight no matter what happens.
It only becomes a big deal if we let it throw us in an unhelpful direction.
A second suggestion is to consider if it works to continue with your basic pattern but without worrying too much about what exactly you eat for the day. If you have a two meal a day eating pattern that is working well for you, go ahead and continue it on the event day. Just because it’s thanksgiving and you are going to have extra potatoes and two pieces of pie doesn’t mean you have to add in an extra breakfast as well if you don’t usually have it. As long as it is enjoyable, stick with the coffee and keep the eating at the main event.
A Powerful Fasting Tool
The third suggestion I have is one of my favorite concepts which I refer to as “bookending.” This is using fasting as a tool to help you navigate an event. You can think of it as a way of framing the event. If you are typically eating on a level 1 practice the event could be framed by leaning into fasting on the days on either side of the event. That might look like having a level 2 fast the day before, having the special day and then having a level 2 day on the day after.
In all likelihood in a broader view you probably come out ahead with a practice like that. Now that is encouraging!
Planning For A Holiday Season
What if the issue is not simply a one day event but a month long season. Holidays can fill homes with so many deserts, candies and treats that it can feel impossible to avoid them.
One of the best ways to deal with this is to “Create an environment for success.”
There is this idea that some people just have stronger will power. This may be true to some degree but what I have witnessed more often than not is that some people are better at organizing their surroundings so that they avoid temptations in the first place.
If there are not always plates of treats out it is going to be a lot easier to avoid them.
Set limits. Fasting regimens can really help with this. Sticking to a defined eating pattern can help avoid mindless snacking and grazing.
Putting food away in-between meals helps facilitate “out of sight/out of mind” effects as well.
Let It Go
Please realize you are not obligated to eat everything that comes through your doors. Imagine that you receive 2 dozen cookies from a neighbor. You have to receive them. That builds the bond. You have to say thank you. Although it never feels good to “waste” something I will tell you throwing away cookies or other unhealthy things is not wasting anything.
The cookies came into the house. They fulfilled a social purpose of good will. They will leave the house again one way or the other. If they end up leaving through the trash instead of the sewer it really doesn’t matter to the cookie. It is waste either way. The only difference is what the effect is on your body.
If you have goals of controlling blood sugar or maintaining weight through the holidays this can be such an important observation. You need to make peace with throwing unhealthy food away. Our society is drowning in unhealthy food. There is simply no obligation to eat everything that comes our way.
A Word About Vacations
Vacation is a time to get away. To relax and have fun. For many this can be a time of indulgence with food. I have not uncommonly seen people battling back against weight gain after trips. In the big picture even for a week as long as you get back on track things can work out fine even without a fasting plan. Committing to a fasting regimen doesn’t mean having to do it all the time. As far as exceptions vacation is certainly a good one.
But I encourage people that if a fasting regimen is working for you normally, consider bringing it on vacation. There are a few key benefits to this. It keeps a good thing going. You might feel better, and vacation is all about feeling better. It can save time for other activities. It can free up money if you are on a budget to splurge on some nicer meals. Imagine how good it will feel after a trip to have enjoyed yourself and come back healthier than when you left. Bonus!